Freedom.

April 28, 2008

The Poetry of John Donne

Filed under: Religion — Patrick @ 11:06 pm
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I have always been an avid reader, even since my earliest youth, yet poetry somehow escaped my attention until my first years in college. I fell in love with this particular form of written communication because, in my opinion, it allows for the expression of a multitude of things which could never be fully expressed in prose or even speech. Greater minds than mine have set themselves to explain why this is; I personally think it generates around the idea that poetry allows you to break the rules of more common forms of communication. It allows you to come closer to projecting something beyond expression. When reading the poetry of a master, sometimes it is as if the Poet is taking his (or her) emotion, vision, or experience, and placing it more directly before you, not clinging so closely to a need for sentences to translate that emotion or experience. It comes to you raw – presented, rather than merely described.

Now, I have written quite a bit of poetry since I first came to love it, but I realized that most of my poems do not center around religious themes or God Himself. I gave some thought to why this might be and I realized that in one sense, I write poetry to, and about God quite often in the way I pray. My deepest prayers to God are beyond words and sometimes even thought (though I have difficultly in explaining this). Certainly, my prayers are often that sort of “inside my head mental-speak” where I silently say “Forgive me for…or thank You for…”, but when I am in deepest communion with God, words seem to become needless. When I pray I am presenting my longings to God beyond a need for translation in words or thoughts. Now that I think of it, maybe that is the reason why poetry really appeals to me.

Anyway, if you have not heard of John Donne before then it is my pleasure to present his writings to you for the first time. The story of his life is quite compelling, from sinner to saint in some regards, and I heartily recommend reading more about his life if you are unfamiliar with him. This is a poem of his that I had not read before, and though it is far from the sort of abstractions I described earlier, I really enjoyed it. I hope you do too.

Holy Sonnet XIV

Batter my heart, three-person’d God ; for you
As yet but knock ; breathe, shine, and seek to mend ;
That I may rise, and stand, o’erthrow me, and bend
Your force, to break, blow, burn, and make me new.
I, like an usurp’d town, to another due,
Labour to admit you, but O, to no end.
Reason, your viceroy in me, me should defend,
But is captived, and proves weak or untrue.
Yet dearly I love you, and would be loved fain,
But am betroth’d unto your enemy ;
Divorce me, untie, or break that knot again,
Take me to you, imprison me, for I,
Except you enthrall me, never shall be free,
Nor ever chaste, except you ravish me.


Source:
Donne, John. Poems of John Donne. vol I.
E. K. Chambers, ed.
London: Lawrence & Bullen, 1896. 165.

April 20, 2008

Sunday School Musings

Filed under: Religion — Patrick @ 5:14 pm
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Today I taught about prayer in sunday school. We watched a video by Rob Bell discussing the topic, and he asked quite a few difficult questions. Why does God answer some prayers and not others? If God is going to do whatever God wants to do anyway, then why should we pray at all? Questions of that sort of nature. As we began to discuss it as a group something happened that I wasn’t really prepared for. People began talking about experiences that they have had wrestling with these questions. It turned out to be a very emotional time. One of the concepts I was trying to convey was that we should be brutally honest with God in our prayers and if it is anything, prayer should be honest. It would be ridiculous to attempt to deceive or be anything less than honest with an omniscient god, right?

I spoke about how it is sometimes hard for Christians especially to be honest with themselves and other people as a result of the Christian sub-culture which at times seems to demand that we put on a certain “face for the crowd”. Do you sometimes feel like you can’t be yourself at church? Perhaps you feel like you won’t fit in at all if you aren’t smiling and happy. Maybe you feel like no one else struggles with the burdens you carry. Maybe you question certain things that are taught or preached but you don’t have the courage to ask for clarification about it because you feel as though you may be condemned for asking questions.

This is something I have always found to be ironic in the church (and here I mean the church as a whole, not specifically Woodlawn). As Christians, we all know that everyone is a sinner, that we all sin, that we are imperfect, and could never measure up to God’s standards. But how uncomfortable we feel around ourselves and others that we try to pretend otherwise! If we cannot be open and honest about our shortcomings with other people in our church, if we can’t feel that we are safe and amongst friends who are alike, who have…and are, going through the same struggles that we are, then where else could we possibly hope to be honest and open? What safer place could we hope to share our darkest failures and deepest questions if not in the church? Where else could we go? More importantly, if we cannot even be honest with ourselves about who we are and what we do, how could we ever hope to be honest with other people or with our Maker? My sincerest prayer, is that I could come to a place of brutal honesty with myself, with you, and with our God. I pray the same thing for you.

In light of this, I have a confession to make. Nothing big, or deep, or dark, just something simple. I realized today that I am far from being a perfect leader in the church. As people began exposing their hurts and questions in sunday school this morning, I realized yet again, that I do not have all the answers to their questions, or the cures to their hurts. Often times I am at a total loss as to how to help people with certain problems and situations that they reveal to me. I do my best, I pray for them, I meet with them, I love them as best as I can, and ultimately I surrender it all to God.

Below is an article I read a few minutes ago that really struck a chord with me on the topic of leadership.

I honestly hope to lead this way.

Is My Leadership Spiritual?
by Ruth Haley Barton

Most Christian leaders sense that there should be something different about our leadership than what is offered in the secular marketplace, but we’re not always sure what that is.

Spiritual leadership emerges from the soul of us—that place where God’s spirit and my spirit commune. This kind of leadership is not about roles and titles within organizational hierarchies; it has to do with our desire and ability to recognize and respond to the presence of God. It depends on our willingness to lead from a place of communion with him.

Spiritual leadership flows from the leader seeking after God through spiritual disciplines. Solitude and silence are two such disciplines that enable us to experience a place of authenticity and invite God to meet us. In them, we are rescued from relentless human striving so that we can experience the life of the Spirit. We give up control and allow God to be God in our lives rather than being a thought in our heads or an illustration in a sermon. We listen for the still, small voice of God telling us who we really are so that we are not enslaved by the demands and expectations of life in leadership.

There can be no compromise. Those who look to us for leadership need us to be spiritual seekers. They need us to keep searching for the bread of life that feeds our souls so that we can guide them to places of sustenance. Rather than offering the cold stone of past devotionals, regurgitated apologetics, or someone else’s musings, we must offer bread that is warm from the oven of our own intimacy with God.

The choice to lead from the soul is a vulnerable approach. It means I am leading from a tender place where I do not have all the answers. It is radical because the wisdom of God is foolishness to this world and we must be ready to stand firm in the midst of skepticism and resistance.

The good news is that if I am willing to lead from here, I finally have something real to offer. The quality of my leadership is different.

Rather than leading from a place of frenetic, ego-driven activity, I am leading from a place of rest where I know what I am called to do and I am confident God will produce it. Rather than manufacturing ministry, I am leading from my own experience with God. Rather than being subject to inner compulsions of the self and outer demands of people’s expectations, I am learning to respond to God’s call upon my life.

While it may seem dangerous to lead from a part of myself that I am accustomed to keeping hidden, true spiritual leadership hinges upon the capacity to lead from my own transforming center. In the end, strengthening the soul of my own leadership is the best thing I can do to strengthen to the soul of the church.

Copyright © 2006 by the author or Christianity Today International/Leadership Journal.
Click here for reprint information onLeadership Journal.

Summer 2006, Vol. XXVII, No. 3, Page 75

April 8, 2008

So I finally got Photoshop CS3…

Filed under: Uncategorized — Patrick @ 11:24 pm
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I finally received the graphic editing software I had been waiting for and I thought some of you might like to see a few things I have been working on recently (keep in mind these are rough drafts so to speak).

Also, completely unrelated, I got word that Zach Anderson should be released from the hospital tomorrow. After 28? days I am sure it is a HUGE blessing for him to be able to go home. Thank you for your prayers.

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